Midlife is the perfect time to reflect and start questioning. Unfortunately, many of us are ill-prepared at this time and suffer from low self-esteem. Everything seems to happen at once, things are changing rapidly and it’s sometimes hard to keep up. Additionally, Westerns society’s view towards aging doesn’t give much support. As a result smoking, alcoholism, depression, suicide and poverty rates are rising dramatically.
Low Midlife Self-Esteem
People tend to become anxious and worry about these rapid changes and as a side-effect often experience low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is defined as the inability to recognise and appreciate oneself as an unique and valuable individual. It results in a rather negative and pessimistic view towards oneself and the surrounding world.
So, why do so many people feel worthless? The answer is rather simple:
- They don’t really know themselves
- Nor do they believe in themselves
- And they don’t love and appreciate themselves
Yet how can you enter this new, fascinating stage of life if you don´t believe in yourself? There is no way! You won´t be satisfied with your life, your relationship, your everything until you´re satisfied with yourself!
Here are 6 Top Sensibly Selfish Tips to build up your midlife self-esteem
1. Recognise Your Insecurities
What is it that makes you feel unconformable or ashamed? It might be anything from thinning hair and bad skin to regrets about the past and the notion of negative experiences. Whatever it is, you need to identify it first.
Unfortunately, there’s no quick fix. You must get to the root of your problems, focus on them and start to understand that you will need to resolve each issue before moving on. That doesn’t mean you have to get rid of whatever makes you feel bad (sometimes you simply can’t), yet you need to learn to accept yourself, your past and the given circumstances as they are.
Even the most confident person has insecurities, so stop comparing. Remember that no one is perfect.
2. Don’t Give Failure The Power To Put You Down
Life is full of ups and downs. Your current stage isn’t your final one. Those insecure feelings come and go, depending on where you are, who you’re with, the mood you’re in and how you’re feeling – they are not constant.
Instead of concentrating on what you did wrong, start to draw from the things you did right. Discover the things that you enjoy and excel at. Focus on those talents. Or why not take some lessons or join that club you always wanted to be a member of? Through following your passion, you’ll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can boost your self-esteem.
Don’t forget to give yourself some credit for your successes so far!
3. Look Sharp
Many people experience low midlife self-esteem because they don’t like the way they look. By dressing sloppily, you neglect your potential and therefore exacerbate the problem. You don’t have to wear your cocktail dress when shopping for groceries (though, you can, if you want to!). Take some time for yourself, appreciate the way you look and change what you don’t like. If you want to get back in shape, exercise! It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your physical appearance and subsequently your self-confidence. It also releases endorphins, which make you feel happier and healthier.
Tip: Look in your mirror and smile. Research suggests that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling you will feel happier with yourself and also more confident in the long term.
4. Be Thankful For What You Have
At the root of our insecurities and lack of confidence, there is often the feeling of not having enough of something, such as emotional validation, luck, money, and so on. Through acknowledging and appreciating what you have, you can dispel the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied.
Tip: Why not help others or those less fortunate? The empowering feeling of helping others builds self-confidence in yourself and helps you realise that you’re having an impact in this world. You can start very simply by just smiling and being kind to the person next to you in the cafe.
5. Give And Accept Compliments
Get in the mindset of positive thinking. It will allow you to see the good in people and compliment them on that. By complimenting others, you are ten times more likely to get a sincere compliment in return. This will reinforce your strong points and push your positive characteristics in the foreground. Now, instead of rolling your eyes and saying “Yeah, right” like you did so many times, take it to heart and respond positively.
6. Fake It ’til You Make It
Just like smiling makes you feel happy, acting confidently can make you more confident. Try and act like a completely confident version of yourself, what does it feel like?
Learn to be positive, even if you don’t feel like it. Avoid self-pity and never allow anyone to make you feel inferior (which they can only do if you let them). Instead, speak positively about yourself. Don´t be afraid to point out your strengths and qualities. By doing so, you will reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
Just like Tony Schwartz once said: “Confidence equals security, equals positive emotion, equals better performance.” Now is the time: believe in yourself and make midlife a stage full of satisfaction and happiness. You can do it!
What about you? Do you feel comfortable in your skin? What makes you feel worthless and what is your way of coping? Please feel free to share your experience.
What do your think? Why not leave a comment below.
Read about STRESS HERE