How do you describe happiness? What does it mean to you as a unique midlife individual? It is important to know this before you can look at how you may regret your future happiness.
You only need to take a look around you to see that happiness means different things to different people, for an individual living in poverty in India for example, she may just be happy to be alive and watch the rising sun that morning. For another person it may be to see their grandchild regularly, to yet another person, giving a million dollars to their favourite charity.
Regret At The End
As Bonnie Ware, a palliative nurse states about regretting not being happy enough:
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
“When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.” Bonnie Ware
It sounds so easy to be happy and yet for many midlife women, there is an inner voice counteracting happiness: ‘what have you to be happy about?’ ‘Why are they so happy? If they are happy then I must make them unhappy.’ And so it goes on.
It is vital to remember that life is all about choice. You may have an inner voice that seems to want to undermine everything you do or say, yet you do not have to take notice unless you want to.
Diane: “It took me until I was in my mid-fifties before I began to think about the true meaning of happiness. Why was it that when I was happy the people and the world around me was a happy place? The moment I became sad or angry the world turned too.”
“What did it take to make me truly happy? My family and nature were all I really needed to create happiness. The more I gave the more I got back, a simple smile at the cashier, making an unexpected call to a friend, a hug here or there.”
“Surprising really, before I knew it regret had no place in my life. I was happy and content with my lot in life. As the native American Indians say: Today is a good day to die.”
For more on regret – click on the posts below:
- Not Being True To Myself
- Working Too Much
- Divorce During Menopause
- Expressing Feelings
- Not Keeping In Touch With Friends
Reflect On Regret
Now it is time to reflect:
In order to avoid regret in your life, take time to be Sensibly Selfish, work on the areas of your life where regret may form and begin the process of change in order that when you do get to the end of your life, at least, you can say, today is a good day to die.
Live your life to the full – behave as if tomorrow will be your last
Embrace your uniqueness – remain true to your spirit
Cultivate your inner calling – work on this daily, step by step
Embrace your creativity – the wackier the better!
Communicate with your friends and family daily – no excuses
Belong to mother nature – take inspiration from her daily
Do you have any stories to tell of how regret has reared its head in your life? Do you have anything else to add to the series? Why not leave a comment below.
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