I love to create my own glossary of Stress Busting Language, and sometimes I use this in-house terminology in a post or page without even thinking! This is a reference post to help you understand what these phrases mean in more detail. Words are a powerful expression of our mindset, so sorting out our Stress Busting Language is an important first step in feeling better.
Stress Busting Language
Our thoughts today surrounding stress seem to be all negative. We are told it will kill us and we must avoid it. I disagree completely with both notions. In order to bust stress we must first understand the myths surrounding stress. It will only kill you if you believe it will, and if you make attempts to avoid stress at all costs.
I believe that no-one can avoid stress, it is, in fact, just another name for life. Life is the place where we learn to grow. Growth comes from the way we choose to deal – or not to deal – with what life throws at us. Dealing with life is where the real growth takes place.
Stress busting can also be used as a term to help others deal with the stressors in their lives. This help can take the form of simple acts of care and compassion. It can include helping a person take back control of their life, both mentally and physically. Not only will it benefit them, it also has an amazing effect in helping calm your own stressful world too.
For example, when a client tells me they just don’t have enough hours in the day, my advice is to go out and help someone who is even busier and who feels like they have even fewer hours in their day! It is amazing just what this simple act will do for you. It will help you see your life from a different perspective and of course, it helps the other person too!
We often forget that we have only one body and one stab at living in this life! So many of today’s Western population have grown up believing that being Selfish is bad. Think about it, though. If you are the only person you are definitely going to spend the whole of your life with, is it not a good idea to take time to care for yourself? Get to know how your body works, both mentally and physically, inside and out!
In order for Selfish to exist we also need Selflessness; one cannot exist without the other, if the universe only works with opposites. Neither is good on its own, it’s important to find a balance between the two.
Modern lifestyles mean we tend to be particularly poor at being Sensibly Selfish. We love and nurture our family first, often putting our dreams and desires on hold until it’s too late. We spend countless hours in the consumer trap, paying for mortgages, school fees, and the latest must-have gadget or food fad. There is no time simply to be.
Something amazing happens when we give ourselves time to be Sensibly Selfish: we are able to come from our true power, and pass this positive energy to those we love the most. When we take time to nourish ourselves, we also nourish the world.
This doesn’t have to be difficult, take hours of time to perform, or take us away for days on end. It can follow the Mini-me-moment concept below, another important term in Stress Busting Language.
When we want to be Sensibly Selfish we often think of taking a long break from our usual routine. The problem is that not all of us can afford that luxury. Our circumstances often get in the way. Maybe we are caring for a sick family member, or working all hours to put kids through college, and all the other countless things that need to be sorted. Yet we can all take mini-me-moments.
Yes, everybody can snatch a Mini-Me-Moment, and that includes YOU! Become aware of these special times and celebrate them. Snatch them regularly, make them a habit just for sanity’s sake. Taking advantage of these precious moments can be enough to restore you to your best.
There’s no point feeling guilty when you think about taking a Mini-Me-Moment, you need them to restore yourself. Learn from them, lose yourself within them and you will feel rejuvenated. Mini-Me-Moments are not a commercial ploy to part you from your hard-earned cash. The focus is never on spending. It is about using your imagination, finding activities which resonate with you, and more importantly, doing something different instead of your normal routine. Some examples:
- Dance to your favourite music
- Drive to your favourite sound tracks, and sing along at full volume
- Dig your barefoot toes into grass or sand
- Exercise or stretch for a few minutes
- Take a candlelit bath
- Enjoy the sun on your face
- Breathe deeply
- Stare for a while, focusing on just one thing, such as a flower
- Watch nature at its best
- Count the stars in the night sky
- Appreciate a painting
- Really taste the food on your plate
In fact, the list is endless.
Midlife Millstones are things which weigh us down. It’s a metaphor for the things that we carry on our shoulders and refuse to let go. Because we fail to let them go, they seem to get heavier and heavier with every step we take. Eventually, they stop us in our tracks. They stop us being the person we deserve to be, our true, authentic self.
Midlife Millstones can be physical or mental, imagined or real. Often we need another person to describe them to us – we have carried them for so long, we’re not aware of them any more! It takes a certain amount of guts to put these Midlife Millstones down, and yet the difference is startling. Most of my clients go on to live completely different lives once they have recognised their Midlife Millstones and then Ditched their Baggage (see the next Stress Busting Language term below).
When I moved to Zanzibar I had to ditch a lot of mental and physical baggage. I hadn’t anticipated how much it would actually change my life. We often don’t realise what we hold on to, and more importantly, how much it weighs us down. We may even feel ill, until we let go.
Ditching physical baggage is just that: getting rid of all the things that no longer serve or nourish our souls and help to create peace and harmony. For some this will mean purging the home of countless items of ‘stuff’. For others who are more conservative, it may be just a few items. There is no right or wrong answer. The key is to feel different after the event, lighter, more focused, able to allow into your life the things you want to attract.
Ditching Mental baggage is the same process, the difference is that it’s all about reflecting internally and getting rid of all those beliefs that no longer serve, and realigning with our core values.
Both mental and physical ditching of baggage is not something that can be done once in a lifetime and that is it. We need to do it on a regular basis! Many people are unable to do this process alone, and need help. That is where I can support you.
Sometimes we just need to let rip! The pressure builds up inside of us and we arrive at a point where the pressure just has to be released. The problem is: if we are not careful we can hurt other people with our words.
A wonderful way to let rip without harming anyone is to write everything down. It’s very important that as you write, you do so without correcting mistakes, sentence structure or even the words you write. You just need to put it on paper as if vomiting!
Some people love to draw doodles, mind maps or coloured words instead of writing down everything in essay form. Any way works, as long as you are able to release, let go of all the built-up tension and feel better for the process.
Now you can burn your written words, put them away in a drawer or re-work them so they become a positive piece of work which will support you, and potentially others, in future. If you need help with the process, just get in touch!
What Stress Busting Language Do You Use?
You may have some of your own stress busting language that you use every day. Why not share them in the comments below? I am sure to add to this post as I create more phrases, so please keep coming back!